(This story takes place 3 months before The
Courtship of Princess Leia)
Princess Leia Organa could not sleep.
After tossing and turning for a few restless hours, she decided to get out of
bed and try to use the time constructively. Ever since leaving the Hapes
Cluster five standard hours ago, she could not calm her thoughts and felt
overwhelmed after everything she witnessed and discussed with the formidable
Hapan Queen Mother Ta’a Chume.
Leia had traveled to Hapes at the
behest of Mon Mothma and the other council leaders in order to elicit military
aid in the New Republic’s battle against the renegade Imperial Warlord Zsinj. The
normally reclusive and intensely private Hapans had made the unheard of gesture
of inviting a New Republic representative to visit each of the 63 inhabited
planets in the Hapes Cluster, and Leia had been unanimously chosen for the
daunting diplomatic task. Mon Mothma was quick to point out that since Leia’s
diplomatic skills were by far the most polished, and her compassion legendary,
Leia was the most logical choice. Normally Leia might have resisted a mission
that would take her so far from home and her loved ones, but given that both
Han and Luke were occupied on long-term assignments and would not be back for
some time, Leia agreed to represent the New Republic on Hapes.
She poured herself a glass of water
and paced the central living area of her stateroom. Her quarters aboard the
Star Destroyer Rebel Dream were spacious and stylish, but tonight Leia felt
cramped and restless. She had been onboard this ship almost the entire time she
had been in the Hapes Cluster these many weeks, and she longed to return to
Coruscant. There she could think and move around, and there she would eventually
be reunited with Han.
Han.
It had been over two months since she
said goodbye to her beloved space pirate, and she missed him terribly. Still a
general in the New Republic military, he had been tracking down Zsinj in the
hopes of putting a stop to the tyrant’s reign of terror. While he tried to
contact her as often as he could, it had been too infrequent for both of them.
Their communication was usually rushed and less-than-romantic, but war did not
leave much room for romance. Leia had to remind herself of that whenever she
felt lonely, which was often lately.
She turned her mind back to her
mission to the Hapes Cluster. Frustratingly, Leia could not tell if the mission
had been a success or not, as the Hapans and their Queen Mother remained
completely unreadable and very non-committal. After weeks of diplomatic
meetings, receptions, dinners and ceremonies, Leia could still not get a solid
read on the Queen Mother. When Leia departed Hapes, Ta’a Chume merely told her
that they would speak again soon. And that was that.
Hapes itself had been a dream. From
the minute her shuttle touched down and she smelled the cool, fragrant air of
the lush world and felt the gentle breezes on her cheeks, she knew why the
Hapans treasured their homeworld so much. It was at once so alien and yet so
familiar. It felt like Alderaan. It felt like home. And that made her even more
wistful than she already was. As Queen Mother Ta’a Chume greeted her warmly and
led her over to a lush lawn where refreshments had been artfully set up, Leia
had a flash of a possible future, one of her and Han living here together, and
it filled her with such longing that Leia thought her heart would break. As the
Queen Mother motioned Leia to sit across from her, Leia forced her feelings
back and focused on the task at hand.
“You realize that if we give you
military and financial aid, we will want something in return,” Ta’a Chume said,
abandoning any pretense of small talk.
Leia hid her surprise at the queen’s
directness. She gave Ta’a Chume her best diplomatic smile and said “Of course.
We would not presume to think otherwise. Hapes and its members would fully be a
part of the New Republic and all the benefits, both political and other, that
that entails.”
“Yes, of course, Princess. But you
misunderstand me. We would require something from you personally.”
This time Leia could not conceal her
surprise. She collected herself and set her teacup gently down on its delicate
saucer. “Me? Forgive me, your majesty, but I am only an ambassador. I don’t
know what I could possibly-”
Ta’a Chume cut her off. “You are the
one we are impressed with, Princess. Both your reputation and your strength
have been well proven and more than justified during this trip. As you know
from everything you have witnessed during your time with us, we are a society
that values the strength of our women more than anything else. I have noticed
this same strength in you, and that is why I will give this matter my fullest
attention. Your New Republic should be grateful to have someone as strong as
you. Someone who can lead her people to better days. I will deliberate with my
council on all that is required, and we will communicate with you as soon as we
reach our decision.”
“Thank you, your majesty,” Leia
replied, trying to get a definitive answer out of Ta’a Chume. The sinking
feeling in Leia’s gut meant that she knew the queen mother would give her no
more, and that her long mission had come to a close. “I hope that there will be
good news, and that it will come sooner rather than later.”
If the queen mother picked up on
Leia’s gentle hit, she did not give any physical or verbal indication. As she
signaled a server to freshen Leia’s tea, Ta’a Chume smiled cryptically at the
Princess. “You must join us tonight for one last meal before you return to
Coruscant and your New Republic. I’m sure your people must miss you terribly.”
The rest of the day Leia spent touring
the parts of Hapes she had not seen during her initial visit.
When Ta’a Chume
left her alone to dress for dinner, Leia suddenly felt very tired and very
melancholy. She could not shake her funk during the long and elaborate dinner
with Ta’a Chume, and by the time she said her goodbyes to her hosts and boarded
her shuttle, she remained lost in sad thought. She had gone right to her
chambers and asked not to be disturbed and tried to sleep off her fatigue and
sadness.
* * *
Now, as she stood staring out a window
at the seemingly endless sea of stars, what gnawed at Leia more than Ta’a
Chume’s abrupt dismissal of her and her frustrating lack of an answer, more
even than Zsinj’s forces, was the fact that life after the Empire’s defeat was
far from what she had hoped and wanted it to be. She and Han and Luke found
themselves continually on the front lines of skirmish after skirmish, battle
after battle. Weren’t things supposed to calm down after Endor? Leia wanted
time to spend with Luke, to get to know the brother she recently discovered she
had, despite their knowing each other for years. It was still new and still
unbelievable, but lately Luke was away on his continual quest searching for
Jedi. And Han?
She should have been spending more
time with Han instead of less. The Empire’s defeat was supposed to have given
them much needed peace and quiet, a chance for them to be together after being
separated all those long, lonely months while Han was still frozen in carbonite
and cruelly hanging on Jabba the Hutt’s palace wall. Instead meetings,
training, and missions constantly separated them, and now this blasted war with
Zsinj. It wasn’t what she wanted for them, not at all. And she felt selfish for
feeling this way. A small part of her didn’t care, but she knew that duty
always had to come first, self second. It was how she was raised and what she
expected of herself, and knew what others expected of her as well.
But she could not ignore that small
part of her that just wanted to find Han and run off with him. To abandon the
businesses of government and diplomacy and have him leave his smuggling and
military careers behind. She wanted them to start a life together, to just be
with each other and not be disturbed.
But that was a fantasy, and this was
reality. Sometimes she disliked reality. And sometimes she could accept reality
and try to make the best of it. She sighed and decided to try the latter tact.
She walked to her suite’s comm unit, and after a few seconds, the ship’s
captain responded.
“Yes, Your Highness?”
“Captain Carhill, can you try to make
contact with General Solo for me, please?”
“Right away, Princess.”
As Leia waited to be connected to Han,
she chastised herself for wallowing in self-pity and resolved to make the most
of her time until Han returned from the war. She would see when Luke was due back
from his latest mission as well, and maybe the two of them could take some time
together as a family.
There was so much she wanted to tell
Han, to share with him. She wanted the two of them to grow close again, to
reconnect after so much distance. Sometimes she felt there was no one in the
galaxy who understood her better than Han; not even her own brother.
The comm’s chime brought Leia back to
reality, and with a smile she prepared to hear Han’s voice. She felt she had
missed it more than ever lately, and she could not wait to tell him about her
mission to Hapes and how much he would like the planet; how much it had
reminded her of Alderaan.
But it was Captain Carhill whose voice
addressed her instead. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but we were unable to reach
General Solo. He’s either too far out of range or otherwise engaged. We’ve had
reports that the fighting on the front lines has been intense, so perhaps that’s
why. Shall I try again?”
“No. No thank you, Captain. Thank you
anyway.”
“Of course, Your Highness. Good
night.”
Leia signed off and stood by the comm
unit for a few seconds, cursing softly to herself. She headed back toward her
bedroom but only made it a few feet before she slumped down on the couch,
overwhelmed. She decided to do something she had not had the luxury of doing
for weeks, perhaps months. She decided to finally give in to her feelings.
Waves of sadness and frustration coursed over her and Princess Leia Organa
began to cry. She did not stop for some time.
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