The Code of Rules (Part 3)

 Time for more ridiculous rules I had back in the day. 

11) They had to accept me for the nerd I was. I wouldn't hide it. If a girl didn't like Star Wars or anything I liked, too bad. I wasn't going to give up my hobbies just to appease them. In return, I wasn't going to change the things they enjoyed doing either, I just wasn't going to be told "I hate that you like Star Wars so much, can't you stop?" Nope. Done. 

12) Never play nice on the first date. Tell them who you are, what to expect and answer anything they ask you as honestly as you can. I hated that you never got to really KNOW someone until a few dates in. So I was an open book on day one. I admitted my faults. Had no shame in telling the truth, even when it didn't make me look good. It might have cost me a relationship or too but I didn't care. 

I remember there was this one girl who I went out with that was telling me a story of how she knew her boyfriend was about to break up with her (long distance relationship) so instead of having him do it by phone she drove all the way out to San Antonio to see if he'd do it to her face. 

He did. 

Then she starting talking about how horrible a person he was for making her drive all the way back home upset and crying over him breaking up with her. My response "Well didn't you do that to yourself because you knew he was breaking up with you?"

That was the last time she ever spoke to me. 

13) Respect the age gap. I'd never date someone more than 5 years younger than me (when I started getting older. I didn't mind it if others did. I just wasn't. Passed up on a few good girls because of this, but I stood firm on it....until I found out Megan is 6 1/2 years younger than me and I made an exception. :) 

14) It's not worth the time and effort to "change" someone. I didn't bother trying. This was probably a bad thing for me but I just knew it wasn't worth it. I remember telling this rule to a girl who was interested. I think my bluntness shocked her (because she knew she had issues) and I never spoke to her again. Given a second chance, I think I wouldn't been a little more courteous in my response. 

Ok folks, I think that's all of them. There could've been more but most of these were ridiculous. I see that now. When someone has a high opinion of themselves, they never see that it's themselves they probably need to work on first or nobody's going to want to be with them.  

Thankfully it all worked out in the end and I have 4 fun kids and a wife who never stop making messes around the house to clean. I'm blessed for sure. Glad I don't need such silly rules anymore. In fact, if something were to happen that would make me a widow, I probably wouldn't re-marry. The dating scene and me never saw eye to eye. But hopefully that's something I'll never have to worry about. 

Have a good one folks!

The Code of Rules (Part 2)

Welcome back to more rules I had for dating when I was younger. 

 6) If a girl plays hard to get....walk away. Back in the day I decided I wasn't going to play that game. I walked away several times when if I'd have played along, I might have been married to somebody else. I remember once I tried to break an Ice Queen into dating me. But the moment she played "hard to get" I left her cold turkey. I later heard from her sister that she was crushed when I stopped talking to her and my response wasn't the best. "Well maybe you should tell your sister to stop acting like an ass and I would've stayed" 

Ah....good time. 

7) Never go after your buddy's girlfriend. Believe it or not...I almost broke this one. My buddy cheated on this girl, got caught, begged for a second chance and before she did it, she called to ask me what she should do. One problem, I was in love with her. It was hard but I told her it was really up to her but if she broke up with him, I'd be there for her. (my way of telling her a loved her) She eventually forgave him and they later got engaged. I was set to be a groomsmen. Then a few weeks before the wedding she cornered me and asked for the truth. Did I love her and was I telling her a year ago to break up with him and date me. Because if I was....she was prepared to call off the wedding and do just that. 

Geez, talk about being put on the spot. So I had to sit there in the parked car and explain the rule and how I couldn't break it. She's now happily married with kids and we're ALL still friends today. In fact, I'm pretty sure he knows about our conversation too because he told me "I know you could've broken us up, but I'm glad you didn't" 

8) Never go back. If the girl dumped you but wants you back, always say "No". The Matt train has left the station baby! Not surprisingly, I never had to enforce this rule. But it was still there. 

9) She must share the same religion. I was hard on this one. More than one relationship never happened because of it. But I never bent the rule once. This one was important to me. 

10) If the parents give you a hard time, walk away. I felt I didn't need to prove anything. So if ever some parent tried to give me hell, I walked instantly. I remember it shocked a few parents and I received a few apologies for it years later too. I remember I was chasing after one girl, that I promise would've worked out if only her mom hadn't had told me "You're my worst nightmare for my daughter"

I dropped everything and walked away that instant. The mom later apologized when she realized she'd been too hard. I accepted the apology but never came calling on her daughter again. I'm still friends with the girl and years later after her mom passed away she asked if that was the reason I left. I told her it was and she said "That's what mom figured. She apologized to me so much after that. It really changed the way she treated people." 

To be fair, I feel for the girl now. Not married today, no parents and on her own. I wish her the best but...the rules are rules!!

The Code of Rules (part one)

 I had some stupid rules I followed back in the day when it came to dating. Here they are in no particular order. I'm breaking this up into 2 parts because I just realized....I had a lot of rules!

1) No long distance relationships. Back in the day the internet only had email and chatrooms. I felt that wasn't enough to sustain a relationship long distance. That one person or the other would eventually get bored and move on. That's why I'd never hook up with anyone that lived far away. I didn't see the point and I was for sure it would never work out in the first place. 

2) Bros before.... If your friend's girlfriend breaks up with him and you like her too. Don't chase after her. Stand by your man and support him. Blacklist the girl from talking to you too. I felt very strong about this. I remember a buddy of mine was dating a smoking hot chick names Sabrina. But when she dumped him he was so heartbroken. A few weeks later she tried reaching out to me and asking me if I wanted to do anything. I quickly replied that I had no interest in someone who hurt my friend the way she did. Never heard from her again. 

3) NO hunting for a girlfriend from Nov1st-Feb15th. That's the time some girls get desperate and date a guy just to have someone over the holidays. So they can get Christmas presents, have someone to kiss on New Year's Eve and have a date for V Day. They break up with you soon after. As Admiral Ackbar said in Star Wars "It's a trap!"

4) If a girl is too pretty, she's not worth chasing after. Some girls have guys following them everywhere. Usually those girls are haughty and stuck up because they know they can have any guy they want. Don't give them your attention, they have enough as it is. This one actually had the reverse effect because it turned out the girl who gets all the boys usually chases after the one guy who doesn't show interest. I get it  now, but back in the day that threw me for a loop! 

5) 3 months in the "penalty box" after a break up. No dating anyone, because you don't want a "rebound girlfriend" someone you get in a relationship too quick because you're still upset about your last girlfriend, only to realize you made a mistake and need to get out of that one too. This cost me dearly when I unknowingly took a girl with me to bible study when I was on my way to break up with my first girlfriend. I told her the story (just in case an argument spilled out in public) And on the way back we laughed about the whole situation....then she asked if she could hang with me at my apartment and watch wrestling with me. 

I was clueless and I thought she just wanted to watch Goldberg but it became evident she had a different body slam in mind when we started watching Monday Night Nitro. I then had to explain to her my rule of "no rebounds".....never spoke to her again. 

All my ex's (3)

 The final girlfriend I had before I met my wife was Erin Matherne. Though we only dated for 2 weeks, I think she still counts. 

It didn't start off as love at first site either. I'd known her for a while before we ever started dating. My brother was dating her sister for a while and I was good friends with the family, so I'd hang out with them to watch Survivor all the time. 

She was engaged to another guy who everyone hated. Even the family didn't like him that much. So my brother and I went on a mission to break them up. Again, I had no interest in Erin at the time other then being her friend. But when we'd go visit her at work and tell her how she could do so much better than who she had. 

After a while it worked. She called off the engagement...and then started dating me. I guess talking to her more made me realize just how special she was. But it wasn't to last long. On our 2nd week I remember her Dad asking to talk to me in his study. I wasn't worried because as I said I was friends with the family long before we were dating. 

But what he told me shocked me. He said that he liked me and that he was happy I convinced her to call off the engagement to her former boyfriend but he also felt like I wasn't the guy for her either. He wasn't saying it out of spite, he had made some observations about his daughter that I quickly came to realize he was right about. When I spoke to Erin about some of these things we both decided to end the relationship and move on. 

3 months later, I started dating Megan. 

Where is she now? I'd heard she was a little sad to hear I was getting married. But later on Erin found a great husband and has several wonderful kids. I've only seen her once since we stopped seeing each other and we had a good conversation. I'm glad she's happy. 

And that's it folks! No more ex's to speak of. I'm just that boring I guess. 

Come back tomorrow to hear what my "code of rules" was for dating. I'm sure it'll give everyone a good laugh. 

All my ex's (2)

 Girlfriend #2 came along 2 years later in my life. Her name was Honi Jordan. 

Yeah...my brother thought that was a stripper name too. 

I'd known her for years. We went to the same summer camp. She always had a crush on me but back in the day one of the rules in the code was "no long distance relationships" Remember, the internet was still young back then so things were different back in the day. 

Anyway, after one summer week she stayed in Mobile Al, where my grandparents were. I went down and we spent the week hanging out. It was there she finally beat me down to agree to a long distance relationship. And for the next 3 months we did just that. Calling over the phone and emailing each other. 

Finally in September I was planning to fly up there and visit her and the family....and the week of my flight, was when I got a call from her sister and Mom. 

Supposedly, Honi had been cheating on me the whole time. (should've listened to the rule) And she planned to break up with me, my last day there. Her mom and sister were outraged with her and told her she needed to tell me about her other boyfriend now but she refused to do so, so they called instead and told me not to come. 

I remember them both crying over the phone apologizing for Honi's actions, so I called the "relationship" off, flew in the next week and had a buddy of mine drive 4 hours to pick me up so I could stay the week with him instead. Worked out well. We still talk about that week together all the time. 

Where is she now? I have no idea. Never spoke to her or her family ever again after that night. 

All my ex's (1)

 Welcome to the shortest series on the blog! 

For the week of Valentine's Day, I've decided to  share stories of the 3 woman I dated (yep...only 3) before I met my wife. 

Why only 3?

A) I was a loser

B) I had a standard and a code I followed to the letter (like Dexter) 

C) I was too picky. (the downfall of all single men)

So who's up first? My first girlfriend came along during my senior year of college....yep...that long. Ashley Harper went to Tech at the time and she was all that and a bag of chips. 

We were together 3 months and even my roommates had bets that it wouldn't last that long. (no joke) 

My favorite story with her was the night we were supposed to go out on a date but when I saw what she was wearing, I decided we should stay inside. She had a low cut blouse, and jeans ripped everywhere to show you she wasn't wearing anything underneath. 

On the same night my roommate was taking his girlfriend out as well. When they got to the door to leave his girlfriend turned around and in a voice dripping with sarcasm said "Bye Ashley, Bye Matt. Oh and Ashley....love your jeans."

Ashley had no idea she hated them. She thanked her and stood up to give her a 360. The other girl, disgusted, rolled her eyes and walked out. My roommate and I still talk about that story today!

Reason for the breakup? Cheated on me....with 3 guys....at the same time. 

Where is she now? (WARNING; this gets dark) Her husband and kids left her and she died alone in a fire when her house burned down and she couldn't get out. 

Ouch. I didn't like her when we broke up, but I'd never want that to happen to anyone. Too sad. 

The beginning of the end

 I cracked the corner of my laptop a few months ago and now it's beginning to fall apart at the hinge. Repairing it will cost half the price I paid for the laptop and I'm not prepared to do that. Just like in the photo, mine is tapes at the sides at the moment and taped up, but I know it won't hold up for much longer due to the use of having to constantly open and close it. 

So I guess later down the road I'll be looking for another laptop. Sadly, I've barely had this one for over a year. A pity. I love this one too. 

Asus laptops are the best (in my opinion) but it's getting hard to find one at a good deal because they NEVER go on sale. 

But oh well. Whine, whine. Sob, sob.