The Last House (review)

 I don't know how many times I've seen a movie with this plot. 

A family comes in from the rain, which ends up trapping them inside the house. (the rain) Now they must survive with limited food supply and no way out, while also dealing with a mysterious alien threat that can kill them all. 

Is this movie interesting in the first act? You bet it is. The "why" and "how" they plan to survive is fleshed out pretty well, as they witness other neighbors stuck in their houses as well, struggle with survival. 

Does the 2nd act involve a dilemma where they must find a way out of the house to save someone's life? 

Of course! I called that from the very beginning of the movie. For a while I'll admit, I wasn't sure they were going to do it, but thankfully they follow the classic formula hollywood has been using for the past 30 years.

Does the ending explain itself and wrap up with a clear understanding of what went on?

Oh ho ho... no. Remember "Signs"? The movie that dealt with an alien invasion only to find out in the end that these people can be hurt by water....which is what our planet is mostly made out of. Which leads you to wonder how "smart" these aliens were to invade in the first place???

Think that ending, but 11 times lamer. I was confused on the ending and though the movie tries to explain to you what went on, the whole plot makes zero sense. 

Avoid this movie. It isn't worth your time.  

PASS!

 No I didn't read the book in one day. I cracked open the first chapter, flipped through the next 100 pages and put it up. 

It's entirely in 1st person. The most hated writing style for me. I can't stand it. 

Sure I endure it for the classics. Frankenstein, Dracula, Last of the Mohicans, Sherlock Holmes, Jekyll and Hyde, etc. But in modern day writing? It feels SO MUCH like bad fan fiction. 

I can't explain it, but it's true. It grates on my last nerve to find a book written like that today. 80% of Star Wars fan fiction I read back in the day was in first person and I believe because it's the laziest way to write a novel these days. Like you're reading someone's journal. BOR-RING. 

Too bad. I really wanted to know what was in this. Maybe I'll look up a review online and get the cliff notes that way. but one thing's for sure, this book is NOT for me. 

I got better things to do with my time.  

Crisis on Infinite Earths

It's been a while since I've read this series. But since someone let me borrow a copy of the book Marv Wolfman wrote decades later, I wanted to re-read this classic before seeing what the novel held in store. 

This is a wild ride. About half the heroes I'd never heard of before. I'm sure the made up a few but also went through their entire lineup of heroes in the process too. 

Peacemaker (who is now famous) has a small role in this. I didn't know who he was last time I read it and now (since all the movies and tv shows) it's crazy to think how popular he's grown in the past 40 years. 

The story is a convoluted mess though. I couldn't understand why exactly Anti-Monitor was such a threat or where he got his powers from. Or the whole business with how the dimensions worked, but entertaining enough. 

This is the series where they killed off the original Supergirl (then replaced her with an alien clone in the comic) and most notably, Barry Allen the original Flash. Which is one of the rare permanent choices they ever made, as Wally West is still known as the Flash today. 

Overall, not bad. I'm hoping the book can connect the dots a little better and flesh out the story more. 

We shall see....
 

Monsters (comic)

Ok, I've only read the first issue but I'm hooked. 

It's about a monster hunter, who comes out of retirement in the 80s to defeat all the classic monsters of the time. (and even some newer ones from 80s movies)

It's pretty good. My buddy collects them for the covers but never read them. He had doubles of a few issues which is how I got to read the first one. Now I'm going to ask if I can borrow the rest and read what's come out so far. 

Honestly, these covers are beautiful. But the story is interesting too. The artwork is fantastic and the art certainly gets room to breathe on the page as the dialogue for each panel isn't that long. 

I like the format, but will the series hold up as a whole? We shall see...
 

TI4 (game #2)

 

Just like every twilight imperium game before it you never think how much better it can get until you play again.

This had to be the most amazing game I've played in quite some time. For the second time only I was able to open the fractured void and get in it. It took me two rounds to finally capture a planet and that's when I realized the entire void is just a giant red herring.

Sure the planets are very powerful granting you a relic along with other super abilities (in my case a victory point) but by the time everything was said and done the leader had 6 victory points to my 2. Since all my energy was focused on taking over a planet in the void I was losing out on points.

Sure this is only my personal opinion but I wouldn't put it past this game to keep putting up shiny trinkets in front of the player's eyes that make them lose focus on scoring victory points.

It was at this time I realized the game was really out of my hands.

Yet as any experienced player knows….never give up hope, you just don't know what might happen.

Well during one of the agenda phases an opportunity presented itself as I was the speaker about to break up a tied vote on which planet would be demilitarized. One of them was Mecatol Rex Which would essentially give that player the planet indefinitely throughout the rest of the game.

A very powerful vote. And as we know with very powerful votes come very powerful deals.

My plan was simple give him my deciding vote and have him keep Rex for the rest of the game thereby almost assuring him the win. In exchange he would give me support for the throne. Afterwards my goal would be to paint him as the front runner and try to make it close enough to convince the other players to give me support for the throne in the end thereby beating him the last moment.

And that's exactly what happened. But it wasn't as easy as you would think.

First off my nephew was (rightfully) against the deal in the first place and argued against it vehemently.  He almost convinced the guy until I finally one out with a better argument showing him how he could easily win the game.

Once the deal was made I slowly gathered enough points to get within striking distance and when the final round happened he was sitting on Rex with strategy card 8 in his hand ready to end the game on his turn.

Then I struck my plan.

Gathering the other players I asked one of them to remove all his fleet from his home planet so that I could take it thereby completing a secret mission and then the other players giving me support for the throne right after that so I would be crowned the winner and literally steal victory from the other guy.

And because that guy was so arrogant as to ask if we wanted it to go another round or not since he was “obviously going to win” it cheesed the other players off enough that I knew I could convince them to give me the victory. And hand me that victory they did.

It was a master stroke in negotiations. Definitely a game for the ages. As each one of the players were pointing fingers at each other at whose fault this all was while I sat back with a smile on my face and the crown of champion upon my head.

What a great game…  

Happy Labor Day

 If I'm not playing board games today, it's been a waste of day. 

That's all I'm saying. 

The Last Battle

At last I've finished the series!

What did I think of The Last Battle?

Very depressing. 

Seriously, why have I never noticed what a downer this book is??

The narrator let's you know by the second chapter that these are the final days of Narnia. (um, spoilers??)

But why say that? How about we find that out towards the end?? What's the point in telling us that now? So when every chapter shows things in Narnia getting worse (talking animals slaughter, the land overrun with the enemy, a Centaur saying doom and destruction is coming to Narnia) the reader has ZERO hope things will get better because the book told you the end days were coming at the beginning of the book. 

SPOILERS!!!!

And I still don't know how I missed the fact that the kids were dead at the end of the book, which is why they are all gathered in Narnia. Wild. So they never got "called" into the land as in previous novels, but died and were sent there after death. (GRIM)

Yes, in the end, everyone goes to NEW Narnia and lives happily ever after, yet it's really too late at that moment because you've been reading the entire novel, knowing everything is coming to a crummy ending. But yet the last 2 chapters everything is happy again, so we're supposed to be happy too?? I don't get it. 

So here's my final ranking:

1) Voyage of the Dawn Treader

2) Silver Chair

3) The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

4) The Magician's Newphew

5) A Horse and His Boy

6) The Last Battle

7) Prince Caspian - (only because of it's slow start in the first half of the book)

And there you go! 

Overall, I'd say it's worth reading. I'll be reading it again in the next 7-8 years I'm sure. Maybe sooner if my kids are old enough to LISTEN while I read. 

I first tried reading these to them and it was a disaster. No one can sit still in bed. So after 2 chapters, I gave up and starting reading them on my own. And I'm glad I did. It was worth it. 

Have a good weekend folks!
 

Hwy Traffic jam

 This isn't a picture of Monroe. But it could be. I don't know what the heck is going on, but since last year it's taking me almost twice the original time to get home these days. 

Not sure if that's because Meta now has a site (an hour away) or what, but traffic is the WORST these days. And at least twice a week there's a wreck at the SAME EXACT SPOT. It's like everyone forgot how to drive. 

I know it's some moron looking at their phone instead of the road and slamming into the car in front of them. Every time I pass the wreck, I see it. Someone hit someone else's car from behind, causes a jam on the highway. 

I know, I know, this is nothing compared to bigger cities but still... it irks me. 

And I'm getting old. 

And I like to complain about these things. 

And whenever I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I always pass gas when I get back in bed. 

I have no idea why, but it's true. 

Anyway....traffic sucks. 

The Silver Chair (review)

 

As I've said, it's been a while since I've read these. I'm finding I like them even more than I expected I would. 

In fact, this may be 2nd on my "favorite" list of them. I love Puddleglum. He's the perfect character for such an adventure. Always negative and such a downer on the group, yet serves up some humorous moments during the adventure. 

I remember watching the BBC version of this years later when I moved to Monroe. I never even knew it existed until visiting our local ibrary here and seeing the series on VHS. When I was a kid, we must've watched the first 3 series hundreds of times but they didn't have the Silver Chair. And in the days before the internet, how could I have known this even existed??

But wow, what a great book. Can't wait to get to the final book in the series now!

Traffic Light Removal

Driving down a street I haven't been on in a while and noticed something amazing. They got rid of a traffic light that has been there for 36 years. 

I was shocked. 

It was in a terrible location where there's hardly ever any traffic, yet you have to sit there and wait for....no one until the light turns green. I always found it to be a waste of time, I have no idea who put it up or how long it's been up there (it was there when I arrived in 1989) But I'm SOOO happy somebody finally had the brains to say "Hey, this light is useless"

Great choice. 

There's a few more in town that make no sense either that I hope they take down soon. I'm also a fan of round-abouts, yet a bunch of idiot drivers here have no idea how to maneuver around them, so I doubt those will ever be popular here. 

Either way, kudos to the city of Monroe for taking a step in the right directions (though it probably took over 40 years to do) 
 

Voyage of the Dawn Treader

 

My favorite book in the series and it still doesn't disappoint. There's an adventure in every chapter as Prince Caspian, Edmund, Lucy and their cousin Eustace, search for the lost 7 Lords of Narnia. Really beautiful ending too. 

Everything about this book is classic CS Lewis. Not sure how the rest of the novels will stack up after this one but I'll be interested to find out. 

They've made a movie and a BBC show about this one too. For the life of me, I have no recollection of the movie yet the BBC series was fun. I'd like to watch them again someday. Maybe after I'm done with all these, I will. 

On to the Silver Chair!

Evil Dead Burn (review)

 Is there really a point to making these without Bruce Campbell? 

I watched it. It's ok, for a horror movie. Gruesome for sure. Pays homage to the original (like it should) it even throws a callback to Evil Dead: Rise, though I believe it was more for fun than to establish continuity between the movies. 

It's just feels like a lot of the same. The original movie was different for one big reason few movies dare do today. Tricking you into who the main hero will be. 

These days, it's ALWAYS the "final girl" and has been for decades. What about having a guy survive this time? Too unique I guess? I'm not sure but you'd think someone in Hollywood would give it a shot at this point. 

Either way, the movie was just ok. If you're a horror or Evil Dead fan, you'll think it's ok. If you're not either....avoid watching the movie entirely. 

Have a good weekend folks!

Prince Caspian (Review)

Time for another review. The next book in the series doesn't do much to excite people trying to make this into a movie. Mainly because not much happens in it. 

The kids get called back to Narnia, find out they've been gone for centuries and make their way to assist Prince Caspian in taking back his rightful claim as King of Narnia. There is a battle at the end but the rest of it is dialogue and a journey. 

Oh and there's actually a werwolf in this too, which I somehow forgot all about. 

Overall, a fine tale. Not my favorite, but I'd still put it over "A Horse and His Boy" 

Next up is my favorite book in the series. Can't wait to review it!

 

Blue Bunny Pistachio

 

In my quest to find the best tasting version of this flavor I've tumbled upon Blue Bunny.

Oh man...it's excellent. WAY BETTER that Hagen-Das. This stuff is top shelf! I don't think I'll even give the Breyers brand a try because this one is soft, smooth and packed with flavor. 

I think I've found my champion. All hail Blue Bunny!

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (book review)

Finished the first and more popular book published in the Narnia series. What can I say? It's a classic. Non-stop action for kids to enjoy. The story never slows down and is over before you know it. I'm knocking these down in a couple days each. Fast, easy, enjoyable reads. 

I still think about the BBC series as being the most true to the books. Whenever I think of the characters in my head that's who they look like. Though I have noticed CS Lewis probably didn't spend as much time world building as Tolkien did for his world. Mythical beast are thrown into the novel but not really fleshed out beyond just having them named. 

Other than that, very enjoyable read. Looking forward to taking the rest of these out in the next week or so. 
 

Lucky Energy Drink Review

 Saw this at Walmart the other day and couldn't resist trying something new. 

I regret it. 

This worthless swill isn't worth the price of the recycled can it came in. Weak, bland taste, no identity and belongs gathering dust on a Dollar Tree shelf than any any self-respecting store. 

And to think, for 50 cents more I could've been enjoying a top shelf Ghost energy drink instead. (tsk, tsk)

The Magician's Nephew (review)

After many years, I decided to go ahead and give these a re-read, this time in Chronological order. I've never liked reading it this way, but rather in publication order. But this time I decided I'd try it out. 

Not bad. I've read the books so many times, who cares what order I read it in now I guess. 

This book still has the magic that captured me when I was a kid. The origin or the witch, the Lamp Post and the wardrobe are all explained. As is the creation of Narnia. It's a wonderful simple children's story that's still enjoyable today. 

I have no idea Netflix is making a movie about this in 2027. I'm both excited and afraid. In my opinion, the BBC did it best with the first 4 books of the series. I hardly remember the chaotic new series that came out year ago and are buried in the past, forgotten by most. 

But these days, I don't trust anyone to respect the books when making a motion picture. Everything has to have more adventure and excitement in it. I highly doubt the movie will focus on 2 kids, going into another world, ringing a bell that awakens a witch, who follows them back to earth and then again to the creation of Narnia, without so much as a battle taking place is movie material. 

But yes, when it comes out I'll have to give it a try. They've never made a movie about this ever, so seeing some concept of the story brought to life would be interesting. 

Have a good weekend folks!
 

Mechanical Pencils

I hate these things. Never liked them. Don't even know why the exist today. 

They never work right. The led is brittle and breaks easily. It slides right out of the bottom too fast and too long. Constantly chipping. Then you have to buy refills that cost almost as much as buying a new pencil. 

What's the point?? Why not just get a regular pencil instead? Wouldn't that work better??

Whenever I find one around the house it's instantly trashed. I'm guessing the girls get them as gifts and guess what?? They're always out of led when I pick them up. Who knew right?

Total waste of existence, these things.  
 

Big League Chew

Honestly, is there a bubble gum better than this?? 

No. There isn't. 

Super soft. Blows great bubbles. Taste last forever. It's top shelf bubble gum. 

I always looked up to it as a kid. When playing baseball, you were the coolest if you had this. SOOOOOO good. Just bought a packet the other day. Loved every shred. And they have other flavors too. I've tried them all but nothing beats the original. 

Fun fact, last Christmas they had a peppermint flavor I tried. Too strong a peppermint taste for me, but I applaud them for trying. 

Other solid flavors? Green Apple, Blue Raspberry and Grape. All good stuff. 
 

Take a bath

 

It's time for a "hot take" folks!

Why do fat people NEVER bathe??

I've noticed this a lot lately. 

I have a friend who comes over every so often, tells me he's going to shower and be right over. Yet when he arrives, I've noticed he's only changed his clothes and stinks to high heaven. 

Last month at the theater, I was in a show where the fat people stunk so bad I had to hold my breath every time I walked by. Honestly, the funk coming off them was horrendous. I wish the director had said something....anything....to get them to bathe. 

Maybe it's not every huge person but geez to frag does it irk me. What's so hard about jumping in a shower? I can take one in 5 to 10 minutes easy. Why can't they??? What's so bad about pouring water, soap and rinsing that they just can't stand?

Ok rant over. Moving on.